The Ice Cream Cone of Success
July is National Ice Cream Month. President Ronald Reagan made it an official observance in 1984, noting that 90% of people enjoy this fun and nutritious snack.
Let’s use ice cream as a metaphor for your life or business. Remember to think in the context of ice cream! Do these sound familiar?
1-You melt as soon as it gets too hot.
2-You see yourself as someone who easily gets licked!
3-You wait to get picked by someone else and find yourself competing with the other flavors. You may be sweet, but others are sweeter, better, more colorful, nuttier, more appealing, on and on.
4-You’re always in a container; surrounded by barriers.
5- When things get untidy, someone else has to clean up the mess.
6-You often feel like you are getting “eaten alive!”
7- You are secretly dying to be the famed “Flavor of the Month.”
You may want to use the month of August to assess your results and determine if it’s time to make a change.
Success is not about melting, being contained and being envious of the other flavors. It’s about running your own race.
Attitude Adjustment 101: 7 Tips for Success
“Work on your career and you’ll make a living. Work on yourself and you’ll make a fortune.” - Jim Rohn
Regardless of the number of college credits or degrees you have, the truth is that much of your success is determined by your attitude. Education is worthwhile but a good attitude is priceless. If you search for a college that has a concentration of study entitled “Attitude,” you will likely come up empty-handed. Yet, the world would be a better place if we could major in “Attitude.”
If attitude is not taught in school, then why do some people have great attitudes and others seem poisonous? More importantly, how can you shift your attitude from mediocre to magnificent?
Here are seven tips for Attitude Adjustment 101.
1- Take responsibility for your attitude. Be brutally honest with yourself about who you are and how you behave.
2- Recognize warning signs. Your mind is like a computer—garbage in; garbage out. If you tell yourself that you are “just okay,” you will be “just okay.” What you think about, you bring about. Plant seeds of optimism and hope; not weeds of pessimism and doubt.
3- Use positive affirmations. Tell yourself every day that you are an outstanding person.Your self-talk is critical to your success.
4- Make mental movies. Your subconscious mind operates on images and pictures. Learn and apply creative visualization and see your ideal life in absolute detail. Envision your ideal day and your mind will begin to make it happen. You are the director, producer, writer and star. Make it a winner!
5- Write down your goals. The subconscious mind kicks into action when you put your goals in writing. List three short-term and three long-term goals. Be sure to include a target date of accomplishment. Outline the steps you will take every day to achieve your goals.
6- Put your head down and focus. Successful people do not focus on negative water cooler gossip, complainers and time wasters. Set your goals and get to work.
7- Surround yourself with successful people. Think about the people you admire and what kinds of characteristics, traits, habits and values they have. Success leaves clues.
It takes 21 days to form a new habit. If you practice these ways to adjust your attitude for at least 21 days, you will begin to see changes.
President John F. Kennedy said, “The human mind is our most fundamental resource.” Your mind is a fertile garden that will grow whatever you plant in it. Life is better when you have a good attitude.
Leadership and Success Tips from One of the Greats
Napoleon Hill’s classic book Think and Grow Rich was first published in 1937. As much as things have changed in our world, so much remains the same. Here is Hill’s list of eleven major attributes of leadership.
1. Unwavering courage based upon knowledge of self and of one’s occupation.
2. Self-control (“Self-control sets a mighty example for one’s followers, which the more intelligent will emulate”)
3. A keen sense of justice
4. Definiteness of decision
5. Definiteness of plans- plan your work and work your plan
6. The habit of doing more than paid for- a leader does more than is required of his followers
7. A pleasing personality-no careless person can become a successful leader
8. Sympathy and understanding
9. Mastery of detail
10. Willingness to assume full responsibility
11. Cooperation
Hill goes on to say that leadership by consent and with the sympathy of followers is far more effective than leadership by force. He concludes that “the man who makes these eleven factors the basis of his leadership will find abundant opportunity to lead in any walk of life.”
I have to agree, especially with that last line. Do you?
Having A Vision for Success
Have you ever been given dilating drops at a routine eye exam? Last week, I went for a check-up, got the drops, and stumbled out of the office with distorted vision. For the next few hours, I began to think about people who don’t have clear vision.
In my Public Relations and communications training business, I have worked with eye doctors who had no vision. No, they didn’t have drops to dilate their eyes; they were bright, educated professionals with tunnel vision and closed minds. I have seen graceful and poised dancers and actors who can make all the right moves on stage but can’t seem to step out of their own way. Ever spend leisure time with teachers who know everything? Have you talked to truck drivers who have no sense of direction in life?
Too many of us are stumbling around in mediocrity without a clear picture of success.
Do you have the vision, the right steps, the willingness to learn and the direction to be successful? If you are “stuck”, check out my “25 Success Habits to Master Your Life.” Read one, think about it and live it. In less than a month, your world can significantly change for the better.
Lessons Learned
I wanted to share some random life lessons and insights I have picked up during my 46 years on this planet. They are in no particular order. Your thoughts?
1- Use an electrical outlet when one is available. Battery power should be Option #2.
2- Observe others around you before you speak.
3- Keep something to read with you at all times (in your car, briefcase & travel bag)
4- Keep your car clean.
5- Express gratitude on a daily basis.
6-When in doubt, dress “up”, not down.
7- Walk into a room Tall, Strong and Proud.
8- Develop the fine art of Charisma.
9- Be able to laugh at yourself.
10-Don’t blame anyone, and don’t ever blame yourself.
11- Think you can.
12- Respect everyone, especially those older than you, and children.
13- Remember where you came from.
14- Understand that the people who seem to need the least amount of love, usually need the most.
15- Know a good clean joke.
16- Expect good things to happen.
17- Know how to quiet your mind, especially in stressful times.
18- Keep a journal.
19-Know that there are no accidents or coincidences. The world is unfolding exactly as it’s supposed to be.
20- Always leave a tip.
21- Never say never.
22- Read, read, read.
23- Eat chocolate occasionally.
24- Surround yourself with successful people.
25- Live with integrity. Put your head down on your pillow each night knowing you did your best.
Amen.
5 Tips to Successfully Coping with Change
It’s no secret that people don’t like change. Change is linked to the basic theory behind Economics 101. If it’s not changing, its not growing. If it’s not growing, it’s dying. Change is constant and it’s all around us. If I dip my foot in the Atlantic Ocean in Belmar, NJ, 30 seconds later I can dip my foot in the same spot but things have naturally shifted. The waves have rolled in and the waves have pulled back. Things are different.
Change is a process, not an event. It takes time.
Consider that you have changed from two hours ago. You have experienced things, interacted with people and have learned. You’re not the same person you were yesterday and you’re not the same person you were five years ago. Your skin and cells have literally regenerated, so your physical body has changed as well as your emotions and mental capacity.
Your ability and willingness to adapt to change plays a critical role in your attitude, success and life. Here are 5 tips to coping with change:
1- Embrace change as something that’s new and exciting with an opportunity to grow. Fear paralyzes people. If nothing changes, nothing changes. This is where people get stuck.
2- Understand that change moves us from competence (our comfort zone) to incompetence. This is natural. It’s called learning.
3- Remember that many people don’t mind change. The problem comes when people believe they are “being changed” without their consent. That’s a huge difference.
4-Create a mindset of learning. “Good change” comes from inside and sparks creativity within us. Be open.
5- Motivate yourself by looking at the Status Quo. Is your Status Quo a positive or negative element? Is it intolerable or is it a catalyst for a new opportunity?
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” — Karen Kaiser Clark
The Most Important Communication You’ll Ever Have
The most important communication you will ever have is with yourself. Your “self-talk soundtrack” plays relentlessly in your head 24/7, 365 days a year. It will either make you or break you.
You may be hearing negative self-talk from years ago that cuts your self-confidence and leads you to doubt your skills, talents, and self-worth. Do these sound familiar? “I’m no good at bowling; my brother Joey was always great at bowling.” “Don’t drive downtown, you always get lost, You’re so stupid.” “Everyone is dressed in formal clothes. I should have worn my tailored suit. I’m not as good as they are.”
The messages we hear in our heads are what we come to believe. Positive self-talk leads to “Can-Do” positive attitudes.
Here are 5 Tips to Improving Your Self-Talk:
1-Write a list of 10-20 affirmations and positive things that you can use to replace the negative ones.
2- Be aware of the negative messages and immediately replace them with positive affirmations. Refuse to feed the voice of the Gremlin.
3- Acknowledge (out loud if necessary) that you are hearing the negative thought and you are dismissing your Gremlin. Simply state in a powerful voice: “Thank you but I don’t believe you.” Then focus on something more upbeat.
4-Avoid repeating your negative self-talk in conversations with others. This will only drag you down.
5- Practice for 21 days.That’s how long it takes to form a new habit.
Self-confidence is an “inside job”. So is self-talk. (A book you may want to read is “What to Say When You Talk to Your Self” by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D.)
10 Do’s & Don’ts of Working At Home
Setting up your home office and developing boundaries for productive days are important for entrepreneurs. Working from home demands a strong discipline and mindset. Paying attention to the small details can help you to better manage your time and be more successful.
My public relations and communications training company, Get in Front Communications, is now nine years old. I’ve worked from home with virtual support/assistants and I had an office suite with several employees. I’m offering you some tips to spare you from the frustration I have encountered. Lessons learned:
1- Do have a separate area (preferrably a room with a door) that’s dedicated solely to your work.
2- Do have your own computer so when you log on, “Dora the Explorer” or “Sports Illustrated” don’t pop up.
3- Do guard your time carefully. Avoid taking personal calls or visits from friends or neighbors during work hours.
4- Do have a website and business cards that are professionally designed. Top notch marketing is critical to your success.
5- Do set your work hours and adhere to your schedule. You probably don’t have to be available 24/7. It’s called voicemail.
6- Don’t use your home address. For safety reasons and a professional touch, rent a PO Box or office address.
7- Don’t answer the phone with barking dogs, noisy children in the background and chiming clocks.
8- Don’t invite clients or prospects into your home. Meet at a local coffee shop or restaurant.
9- Don’t create professional video’s with “homey” backgrounds that may be cluttered with family pictures, toys and papers.
10- Don’t schedule repair men or personal appointments in your home while on conference calls or on a client’s watch.
11- BONUS! Don’t turn on the TV for background noise.
These tips can apply to new entrepreneurs as well as seasoned professionals. Look, after nine years, I often have to remind myself of a few of these too, especially #5. Good luck!
In An Emergency, It’s Attitude, Survival…& Twitter
You may have heard today that a 26-year-old New York woman was caught in the midst of a bank robbery near Penn Station in Manhattan. Annemarie Dooling used her Blackberry and Twitter to send a string of 140-character messages. She’s now making news around the world. How is it that some people can remain calm during emergencies and others simply fall apart? It has to do with attitude.
Author Laurence Gonzales who wrote the book “Deep Survival” studied disasters like earthquakes, Tsunami’s, climbing accidents, and cyclones to learn about the survivors. Gonzalez dissects the psychological and spiritual transformations of people who seem to beat the odds. He has found that the survivors have several common traits.
They tend to:
• View themselves as survivors, not victims (they aren’t whiners)
• Get through the denial stage quickly and accept the situation
• Show humility and know what they are capable of
• Have strong family bonds and want to be reunited w/loved ones
• Ignore the rules and think independently
When two hijacked planes hit the World Trade Center in New York on September 11, 2001, hundreds of workers were trapped in the towers. Gonzales says security told many of them to stay put and wait to be rescued. Most of the people who listened lost their lives. Those who ignored the announcements and didn’t wait were able to escape.
You don’t have to be buried in the rubble of an earthquake for three days to develop the traits of a survivor. Annemarie Dooling has the traits listed above. She said she was simply concerned about letting her family and friends know she was ok, so she Tweeted.
Can you imagine if Twitter was around when Jessie James and Bonnie & Clyde were alive?
Diversity Leads to Balanced Communication & Ideas
Today I saw my former boss, New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman, the 50th Governor and the first woman to hold that position. Whitman also served as Administrator of the US Environmental Protection Agency. She was in San Antonio, TX to speak to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. I’ve known “The Governor” since 1984, when I started my radio news career in Central NJ and she was a county freeholder. I was thrilled to interview her again! It’s been a long time since I ran the Governor’s Office of Radio & TV in Trenton, NJ. This time I didn’t want to talk politics or specific issues. I was interested in her thoughts on diversity in leadership, communication and success.
“We need more women in leadership roles and government because the challenges we face today as a society are far too complicated to assume that any one group,much less white males, have all the answers. We need more minorities and more women but it’s still going to be tough. What women need to do is be less harsh on our sisters. It’s not that women should support other women just because they are women…we need to bring diversity to the decision-making table because it will make a real difference. In business and industry it is important, in communication it is important. We need the female perspective. We have a different experiences and a different way of problem-solving. That voice needs to be heard. We need to be supportive of one another, not blindly,but thoughtfully…I think what often happens is we look at other women because there’s not so many in leadership roles we tend to have more personal connections with them and we worry they have to be the best of the best with pure resumes, because if they fail, it’s a personal reflection on me. And that’s just not it. We don’t care about the guys because they fail all the time. That’s ok. We need to get more comfortable with the fact that we can fail too. We (women) still need to be at the table.”
