7 Communication Tips for Productive Meetings
Meetings can be productive or painful. Exorbitant amounts of time are wasted in meetings that are poorly planned, managed and executed. To many people, meetings are the equivalent of a sleeping pill.
Here are 7 tips to help your meetings run more efficiently. Notice they are all based on communication.
1. Plan an agenda and stick to it. Everyone should know the purpose before they enter the room.
2. Schedule 30-minute meetings (ok, maximum 60 if it’s a big project). If it runs longer than an hour, you may not be properly prepared. Also, refer to #4.
3. Invite only the people who are directly involved with the project.
4. Stay on message. Appoint someone as the “moderator” to keep everyone on track and focused.
5. Assign “next steps” with deadlines to everyone so they have clear direction once the meeting concludes.
6. Agree on a convenient time for the next session before you leave.
7. Send a follow-up e-mail or written communication to all attendee’s summarizing the main points and “next steps.”
People will appreciate good use of their time when you are focused and productive. Stephen Sondheim said, “Everything depends upon execution; having just a vision is no solution.”
Leadership and Success Tips from One of the Greats
Napoleon Hill’s classic book Think and Grow Rich was first published in 1937. As much as things have changed in our world, so much remains the same. Here is Hill’s list of eleven major attributes of leadership.
1. Unwavering courage based upon knowledge of self and of one’s occupation.
2. Self-control (“Self-control sets a mighty example for one’s followers, which the more intelligent will emulate”)
3. A keen sense of justice
4. Definiteness of decision
5. Definiteness of plans- plan your work and work your plan
6. The habit of doing more than paid for- a leader does more than is required of his followers
7. A pleasing personality-no careless person can become a successful leader
8. Sympathy and understanding
9. Mastery of detail
10. Willingness to assume full responsibility
11. Cooperation
Hill goes on to say that leadership by consent and with the sympathy of followers is far more effective than leadership by force. He concludes that “the man who makes these eleven factors the basis of his leadership will find abundant opportunity to lead in any walk of life.”
I have to agree, especially with that last line. Do you?
Improve Your Communication with Vocal Vitality
Making your words come alive is an integral component of your communication.
Many of you know I was an on-air radio news anchor and reporter for many years. In my college broadcasting classes, my favorite professor taught me that radio is “theater of the mind.” He then showed me and my classmates the importance of using our voices and vocal vitality to capture the essence of our words so we could create mental images for our listeners. After all, on the radio, there are no visuals or body language to fall back on. It’s all in the voice. We had to make our words come alive with vocal vitality. Give it life!
Your ability to use your voice to enhance your overall communication is essential. Even if you’re not on the radio, you probably still have to speak to people on conference calls, voicemail messages, in sales meetings, and for presentations. You don’t have to sound like a blustery game show host to have a vibrant and energetic voice.
A strong voice exudes confidence, authority, integrity, passion and enthusiasm. It builds instant credibility. A weaker sounding voice can diminish all of the above. The actual sound of your voice, which includes the timber, is something you are born with. Even with coaching and training, the true sound of your voice probably won’t change a great deal.
The good news is that you can learn how to improve your delivery and vocal habits and work with what you have. After all, you are the message.
Here are five tips to improve your vocal vitality and delivery:
1. Avoid timidity. If you sound nervous or unsure of yourself, your professional credibility will be diminished. Be sure to drop your voice down when completing a sentence. If your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, you sound as if you’re asking a question, not stating a fact. Be strong and confident.
2. Listen to yourself. For the sole purpose of learning, tape record a few casual conversations in your home and on the phone. Let your answering machine record your conversation. Pay attention to your inflection, pacing, tone of voice and vocal habits. Critiquing yourself can be a real eye-opener.
3. Emphasize important words. By stressing a key word or phrase, you truly drive your point home. Conversely, emphasizing the wrong word can add to confusion for your listener.
4. Take advantage of silences and pauses. These are especially powerful in business and sales. Many people feel uncomfortable with quiet. Silence is critical in sales meetings when you drop the gauntlet and ask your prospect the golden question, “Are you willing to give it a try?” or “Are there any concerns you have that are stopping you from signing the contract and getting started right now?” That moment of silence can make or break the deal.
5. Express passion in your voice. If you sound bored, dull or monotone, the people listening will be bored as well. If you are excited and truly believe in your words and message, you have a great shot at capturing their attention. Enthusiasm is contagious.
The two cornerstones of success are excellent communication skills and self-confidence. Improving your vocal viality will help you to succeed in these areas.
In An Emergency, It’s Attitude, Survival…& Twitter
You may have heard today that a 26-year-old New York woman was caught in the midst of a bank robbery near Penn Station in Manhattan. Annemarie Dooling used her Blackberry and Twitter to send a string of 140-character messages. She’s now making news around the world. How is it that some people can remain calm during emergencies and others simply fall apart? It has to do with attitude.
Author Laurence Gonzales who wrote the book “Deep Survival” studied disasters like earthquakes, Tsunami’s, climbing accidents, and cyclones to learn about the survivors. Gonzalez dissects the psychological and spiritual transformations of people who seem to beat the odds. He has found that the survivors have several common traits.
They tend to:
• View themselves as survivors, not victims (they aren’t whiners)
• Get through the denial stage quickly and accept the situation
• Show humility and know what they are capable of
• Have strong family bonds and want to be reunited w/loved ones
• Ignore the rules and think independently
When two hijacked planes hit the World Trade Center in New York on September 11, 2001, hundreds of workers were trapped in the towers. Gonzales says security told many of them to stay put and wait to be rescued. Most of the people who listened lost their lives. Those who ignored the announcements and didn’t wait were able to escape.
You don’t have to be buried in the rubble of an earthquake for three days to develop the traits of a survivor. Annemarie Dooling has the traits listed above. She said she was simply concerned about letting her family and friends know she was ok, so she Tweeted.
Can you imagine if Twitter was around when Jessie James and Bonnie & Clyde were alive?
Proactive Crisis Communications Plans Required in Changing Media Landscape
Crisis communications is one part of the overall communications and public relations strategy that tends to be put on the back burner. After all, most people don’t like to think about a problem that hasn’t happened. But effective PR requires us to be proactive.
Don’t wait for a disaster to hit—it’s critical that your top leaders are prepared and coached with a crisis communications plan in place before the emergency strikes. The onslaught of social media and breaking news on the Internet by citizen bloggers and “journalist wanna-be’s” is forcing us to be proactive. Preparation can save your job, organization and reputation. Many organizations have been wiped out because they failed to effectively manage an emergency.
Consider this: Dozens of your employees become sick after eating tainted food in the company cafeteria. A former disgruntled employee returns to your office and takes a hostage (or worse). A car crashes into your building leaving people badly injured. These scenarios can unfold at 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon or 2:00 on Saturday morning. This is not made up –it’s reality! Would you be able to respond and recover?
Virtually every story I see in the media where one of these situations has taken place, someone is interviewed and says, “We never thought it would happen here.” Think again.
Here are 5 tips prepare a plan prior to the crisis:
1- Designate two people who will be the face and voice of your organization. It should be the president or executive director, and a senior manager as a back-up. These individuals should be excellent communicators who are readily available and can remain calm under pressure.
2- Assemble a support team. This group will be your behind-the-scenes team who can help to provide expertise and input. It may include your PR director, an attorney, human resources person, and a trusted manager who thoroughly knows your organization. Everyone must be ready to spring into action.
3- Decipher information. Develop a checklist so everyone knows their responsibilities and is comfortable in their roles. You must gather and understand the details and scope of your situation, how it is unfolding, how it can be resolved and the impact on the community.
4- Understand the timeliness of your response. Prepare a template statement of 3-6 sentences that can quickly be changed in a moment’s notice to fit a specific situation. This can be ready-made for reporters. Your goal should be to contact the press before they find you. You must say something. “No comment” =guilty.
5- Review and update your plan. Staff changes, growth and other issues may significantly impact your crisis communications strategy. Dust off your file every few months. Make sure the new CEO or PR person has the right training and interview skills to deal with a crisis. Meet with your attorney as well to make sure you both understand the language that needs to be used with the media.
Remember the 5 P’s: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
Diversity Leads to Balanced Communication & Ideas
Today I saw my former boss, New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman, the 50th Governor and the first woman to hold that position. Whitman also served as Administrator of the US Environmental Protection Agency. She was in San Antonio, TX to speak to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. I’ve known “The Governor” since 1984, when I started my radio news career in Central NJ and she was a county freeholder. I was thrilled to interview her again! It’s been a long time since I ran the Governor’s Office of Radio & TV in Trenton, NJ. This time I didn’t want to talk politics or specific issues. I was interested in her thoughts on diversity in leadership, communication and success.
“We need more women in leadership roles and government because the challenges we face today as a society are far too complicated to assume that any one group,much less white males, have all the answers. We need more minorities and more women but it’s still going to be tough. What women need to do is be less harsh on our sisters. It’s not that women should support other women just because they are women…we need to bring diversity to the decision-making table because it will make a real difference. In business and industry it is important, in communication it is important. We need the female perspective. We have a different experiences and a different way of problem-solving. That voice needs to be heard. We need to be supportive of one another, not blindly,but thoughtfully…I think what often happens is we look at other women because there’s not so many in leadership roles we tend to have more personal connections with them and we worry they have to be the best of the best with pure resumes, because if they fail, it’s a personal reflection on me. And that’s just not it. We don’t care about the guys because they fail all the time. That’s ok. We need to get more comfortable with the fact that we can fail too. We (women) still need to be at the table.”
The Three Most Dangerous Words
The three most dangerous words are “I know that.”
When someone utters these words it means they are completely shut down. Their eyes are closed. Their minds are closed. Their hearts are closed. It’s a dead-end place to be. Consider the times you may have said these words. Think back to the circumstances, why you said them and to whom you were speaking. Chances are it was not a very productive conversation. You probably felt tension and angst in your body as well.
Strong interpersonal relationships, effective communication and learning are all centered on open dialogues and conversation. When we approach conversations, even those that may be filled with anxiety, with an open mind and sense of calm, a more productive outcome will likely result.
“I know that” speaks volumes about your attitude, motivation and communication skills. The next time you are tempted to use this expression, step back for a quick second and bite your tongue. Be open and receptive to what is being said. You don’t have to agree. You just have to listen.
Lessons Learned from the News
We’ve all been inundated and overwhelmed with the news these past few weeks. Celebrity deaths and politician press conferences have overtaken the media- both traditional and online. You can run but you can’t hide.
My intention here is not to regurgitate the news headlines and Tweets we are flooded with, but to share some insights into my own “Lessons Learned.” Maybe you will agree.
Michael Jackson: Aside from his obvious and distinct talent, we have witnessed a man who seemed to have desperately wanted to feel comfortable in his own skin. Celebrity does not equal reality.
Farrah Fawcett: It would be years after she shed the sex symbol image and embarked on more intense and profound acting roles that we had the opportunity to see the depth of her gifts. The bathing suit and big smile of the 1970’s morphed in her acclaimed roles in “The Burning Bed”, “Extremities” and of course in her final role in “Farrah’s Story.” Farrah was able to reinvent herself. In doing so, she forced us to look beyond the surface of her bathing suit and teeth and discover what she was really made of.
Karl Malden: His average looks weren’t in the same league as Brando, Bogart and Connery, but he taught us that with hard work and a willingness to learn your craft, you can be in the same league.
Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina: He has shown us a few things. First, he desperately needs to become more media savvy (at a press conference of marital confessions, you don’t open up the floor to questions from reporters, cite the Bible and cry). Second, if you put aside the issue of taxpayer reimbursement for his trips/love visits to Argentina, he taught us about the word Integrity. And I have to thank him for having a gutsy and strong wife who is so much better than he will ever be. A lesson for every young girl.
Governor Sarah Palin: Regardless of your political views, I absolutely think this woman is genuine. Like her or not, I don’t believe she is mean-spirited, evil or “dumb.” It’s unfortunate that she has had to endure the odious scrutiny of an unbalanced media who has treated her so unfairly. No man running for any political office in the US has ever had to tolerate what Palin has faced. Please don’t misunderstand my point: I say the exact same thing about Hillary Clinton. Shame on us.
Bridging Communication Gaps with NLP
One of the greatest and most exciting discoveries in business, communication and psychology in the past 30 years has been Neurolinguistic Programming. NLP was developed in the 1970’s at the University of Santa Cruz in California. The founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, began discussing how some people are able to “get through to difficult people, and others can’t.” That’s how NLP was born.
It examines the relationships between thought, communication, and behavior. This methodology is used by top business leaders, politicians and athletes around the world. There are connections with Emotional Intelligence, but NLP goes beyond EQ (empathy, compassion, assertive communication and self-awareness).
NLP focuses on four key areas: rapport, sensory awareness (modalities), outcome thinking and behavioral flexibility. NLP teaches us how to bridge communication gaps, looking for similarities rather than differences. It helps us to become aware of how others understand and process information so we can communicate with them more effectively. It includes the secrets of nonverbal communication, influence and trust-building, limiting self-talk and modeling human behavior. It’s fascinating.
The core of NLP is based on our sensory modalities. If we listen carefully when others speak, they will drop cues and clues as to which modality they prefer. The three main modalities are:
• Visual – Most people are visual. They learn by seeing. They need to actually see how something is done in order to comprehend it. They use expressions like “I see”, “I get the picture” and “That’s crystal clear to me.”
• Auditory – Others learn by hearing. They can hear something explained once or twice and have a full understanding of the subject. Auditory people tend to use phrases like “That’s music to my ears”, “That sounds good to me” and “That rings a bell.”
• Kinesthetic – These folks learn best through touch and feel. Artists and creative people are usually kinesthetic. They may say things like “I get the point”, “I can embrace that idea” and “I have a bad feeling about that.”
If you tend to be more visual and you are disagreeing with someone who is an auditory person, it’s as if you are speaking Spanish and they are speaking French. It’s extremely difficult to communicate. When you identify someone else’s prime modality, you can use it to bridge the gap, build rapport and engage them. The outcome will be quite different than if you were butting heads and feeling frustrated.
Take time to learn more about Neurolinguistic Programming and how it can be used in all areas of your life. Having this skill set can enrich your relationships.
Living with Emotional Intelligence
Ninety percent of people are fired from their jobs because of attitudinal or relationship problems. Only ten percent lose their jobs due to lack of skill or ability. That’s according to a survey by U.S. News & World Report. A huge part of our success is based on our attitudes, communication and mindsets.
Regardless of your education or SAT scores, your IQ can not be changed. The number you were born with will stay with you for life. IQ measures spatial and cognitive reasoning and is mathematically-based. It can help you in solving right angle problems and theorems but will not help you in resolving a breakdown in communication while planning a team retreat, budget meeting or website overhaul. While education is important, it doesn’t ensure that you have adequate communication skills to connect with others and be successful in the workplace.
Emotional Intelligence (or EQ) is what I call “street smarts”. EQ is a huge factor in interpersonal relationships, communication and conflict resolution, both at work and at home. Individuals with high levels of EQ have compassion, empathy, congeniality, patience, assertiveness and self-awareness. The good news is that EQ traits can be developed. EQ often comes to us through life’s experiences.
Here are 3 Tips to Improving Your Emotional Intelligence:
1. Start watching people. Identify a few people who you admire for their empathy, self-confidence and assertive communication. Observe how they interact with others. Be aware of how people with strong EQ’s handle difficult individuals and situations. Those with high EQ tend to bring people together and not divide them. They are able to articulate and convey their opinions, recommendations, feelings and thoughts in a confident and calm way that is considerate and respectful to everyone. They don’t blame others. They take full responsibility for their actions and behavior.
2. Develop assertive communication skills. People with high levels of EQ understand that every spoken sentence does not require an answer. They don’t react and they definitely don’t over-react. Silence may initially feel awkward but silence in conversations and in conflicts can be extremely powerful. By asking good questions and truly listening, you will show others that you genuinely care about them and are empathetic. Practice with the approach of less talking and more listening.
3. Validate the other person’s feelings. Avoid shifting the focus of the conversation. It’s important to allow others to express themselves without judging, criticizing or interrupting. If a co-worker complains to you that their items in the budget were cut, allow them to vent for a few minutes. Don’t spend too much time talking about how you felt when you fell victim to a budget crunch at your old job. Even if you have never experienced the swinging budget ax, you can still be compassionate and listen. You don’t have to fall out of a window to know it hurts.
Awareness is critical. Be brutally honest with yourself. Think about how you behave, react, and respond in stressful situations and conflicts. Your verbal and nonverbal communication is critical in EQ. Understand the “triggers” that can potentially set you off. Who pushes your buttons? Where can you make improvements?
Management and business guru Jim Rohn said, “Work on your career and you’ll make a living. Work on yourself and you’ll make a fortune.”
