Attitude Adjustment 101: 7 Tips for Success
“Work on your career and you’ll make a living. Work on yourself and you’ll make a fortune.” - Jim Rohn
Regardless of the number of college credits or degrees you have, the truth is that much of your success is determined by your attitude. Education is worthwhile but a good attitude is priceless. If you search for a college that has a concentration of study entitled “Attitude,” you will likely come up empty-handed. Yet, the world would be a better place if we could major in “Attitude.”
If attitude is not taught in school, then why do some people have great attitudes and others seem poisonous? More importantly, how can you shift your attitude from mediocre to magnificent?
Here are seven tips for Attitude Adjustment 101.
1- Take responsibility for your attitude. Be brutally honest with yourself about who you are and how you behave.
2- Recognize warning signs. Your mind is like a computer—garbage in; garbage out. If you tell yourself that you are “just okay,” you will be “just okay.” What you think about, you bring about. Plant seeds of optimism and hope; not weeds of pessimism and doubt.
3- Use positive affirmations. Tell yourself every day that you are an outstanding person.Your self-talk is critical to your success.
4- Make mental movies. Your subconscious mind operates on images and pictures. Learn and apply creative visualization and see your ideal life in absolute detail. Envision your ideal day and your mind will begin to make it happen. You are the director, producer, writer and star. Make it a winner!
5- Write down your goals. The subconscious mind kicks into action when you put your goals in writing. List three short-term and three long-term goals. Be sure to include a target date of accomplishment. Outline the steps you will take every day to achieve your goals.
6- Put your head down and focus. Successful people do not focus on negative water cooler gossip, complainers and time wasters. Set your goals and get to work.
7- Surround yourself with successful people. Think about the people you admire and what kinds of characteristics, traits, habits and values they have. Success leaves clues.
It takes 21 days to form a new habit. If you practice these ways to adjust your attitude for at least 21 days, you will begin to see changes.
President John F. Kennedy said, “The human mind is our most fundamental resource.” Your mind is a fertile garden that will grow whatever you plant in it. Life is better when you have a good attitude.
25 Success Tips to Master Your Life
Learning how to master your life can be the most amazing yet challenging experience. These critical skills and lessons are invaluable to your success. Unfortunately most of these nuggets are not contained in textbooks or taught in classrooms. Most of us don’t learn these habits in school.
People who take the time to commit themselves to personal development, discipline and good habits are the individuals who will excel. These habits and tips will work for you regardless of your IQ, education, background or financial situation. When you learn to control your mind, you will be empowered to succeed.
Personal development is an ongoing process. Here are 25 proven real-life strategies to help you to manage your life.
1. Cultivate a positive attitude. You are in complete control of your attitude and outlook. It’s a mind game and it’s an “inside job.” When you move through each moment of the day with a bright and optimistic view, your world will unfold with blessings and goodness.
2. Drop your old stuff. Imagine walking around every day with heavy metal garbage cans filled with old junk shackled to your ankles. It would be very difficult to move ahead with ease and comfort. Too many of us spend our lives dragging around emotional baggage that doesn’t serve us well. You may need to talk to a counselor, confront someone or write a letter and then burn it. Acknowledge the pain and move on. It will set you free.
3. Wake up early. No matter how tired or busy you are, take at least five minutes in the morning before anyone else is awake to sit alone quietly. You may want to read something inspirational, meditate, pray, or take a walk outside to greet the new day. These few minutes will bring you peace of mind in a busy world.
4. Use your mental resources to achieve unbridled success. Read books on positive self-talk, daily affirmations and visualization. Talk to people who use these strategies to achieve their goals. Integrate them into your own daily routine. When you learn to discipline your mind, your life will completely change for the better.
5. Avoid spending time with energy drains and “naysayers.” People who complain and are negative will quickly deplete your energy and steal your joy. Limit your time with poisonous people. Surround yourself with positive people who will inspire and encourage you. Remember you can not change anyone else. You can only change yourself. Be the fountain, not the drain.
6. Take time to think and read. You probably use a calendar or electronic gadget to keep track of your projects, meetings and appointments. Schedule a small block of time each day to think and read. If you take five minutes a day to think and 15 minutes a day to read, these two activities can significantly enrich your life and mind.
7. Commit yourself to a life of learning. Turn off the television and radio and fill your mind with information and knowledge that can help you to be successful. If you drive a lot, listen to a motivational or educational CD. Read at least one book a month. Learn from some of the greats by reading biographies on Ghandi, Harry Truman, Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou and Bill Gates. Read magazine articles from successful people you’d like to emulate. Success leaves clues.
8. Make deposits in people’s emotional bank accounts. Take time to tell people that you care about them, share a compliment or simply a smile (yes even to strangers). It helps to create a small ripple of goodness in the universe. You set the stage for the person you helped to do the same for someone else. We’ll all be better for it. Pay it forward.
9. Quit criticizing, judging and complaining. These three habits destroy people and relationships. When you become aware of how you are behaving, that’s when changes can be made. Criticizing, judging and complaining are energy drains for yourself and everyone you encounter.
10. Fail forward. An experience is not a failure if you have learned from it and can apply it to your life. If something doesn’t succeed as you had hoped, when you are down on the ground, be sure to pick up a lesson or valuable insight. That’s called a stepping stone to success. If you learned something, you didn’t fail.
11. Keep a journal. You don’t have to be a good writer but a journal is a wonderful tool to record your feelings, thoughts and activities. It’s a great timeline for future reference. The good thing about journaling is that there are no rules. Some people write religiously every day, while others write a few times a month. Sometimes a journal is the place for a much-needed brain dump. Consider dedicating one section for your Gratitude Journal- reminding yourself each day of a few things that happened that you are grateful for.
12. Write down your goals. Keep a visual reminder of your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. When we write things down, we activate our subconscious minds to move forward towards our target. Be sure to keep your list in a place that you can see it every day. It’s a great motivator.
13. Be in the moment. That means that wherever your feet are, your head is. In other words, stop the relentless mental soundtrack that plays 24/7 that distracts you from paying true attention to conversations and situations. By silencing your mind and pushing away mental interruptions, you will be more fully engaged in the present moment as life unfolds. Your relationships will thrive. Give people the gift of your attention.
14. Tell the truth. Honesty is based on the principle of integrity. Always tell the truth.
15. Expect good things to happen. When we anticipate good things, they usually happen. If you expect happiness, love and success, they will start showing up in your life. If you look for bad things, they will show up as well. It’s like ordering food in a restaurant. You generally get what you ask for. What we think about, we bring about.
16. Always do your best. Every day we are faced with hundreds of decisions including what to wear, which route to take to work, what to eat for lunch, whether to start a project or call a friend. In each moment, you must consider your options and do your best. Your best will vary. If you have a cold on Tuesday and didn’t have a good night’s sleep, your best will not be the same on Friday when you feel better and are well rested. Every day we have countless possibilities to do our best.
17. Nurture people who are near and dear to you. Let them know how you feel. Whether it’s a handwritten letter, an electronic greeting card, a phone call or a conversation over lunch, telling people how much you care about them and why, can have a wonderful impact on both of you. Tell them now.
18. Create a dreamboard. Use a poster board and cut out pictures of what your ideal life looks like. By making a collage of the images that you are striving for, your subconscious mind will kick into autopilot and start moving you forward. Think big and include pictures and phrases from magazines and travel brochures. You may want to include a family picture in the center. Have fun with your collage and be sure to look at it every day.
19. Avoid procrastination. When something needs to be done, get right to it. Putting it off will only cause stress and anxiety. You may not realize it, but something as minor as running an errand can fester in our minds and bodies. Actor Denzel Washington says that he and his wife have raised their four children with the rule “Do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do.”
20. Give freely to people. When you dedicate your life to the philosophy of “What can I give you?” without expecting anything in return, the entire universe will shift for the better. Focus on being of service to other people in every situation you encounter. Shift from being a “go-getter” and to a “go-giver.”
21. Understand the quality of charisma. Charisma is defined as appeal, charm, magnetism and allure. It’s a magical quality that most leaders possess. These are people who look like winners and act like winners. They tend to have big dreams and reach for them. People with charisma show kindness and empathy towards others. They are interested in the people they encounter, have a strong sense of humor and are known for their strength of character. Watch them and learn from them.
22. Laugh every day. Children laugh an average of 300-400 times a day. Adults laugh an average of 15-20 times a day. Where did our joy go? Remember those deep belly laughs when you laugh so hard, you’re literally in tears? We need those hearty bursts of laughter that emanate from our souls. Find something to laugh about every day.
23. Live a healthy life. Be aware of the implications of your diet, nutrition and exercise. Avoid foods with sugar and white flour as they are the addictive drugs of the food chain. Avoid eating heavy meals, especially at night. Stay away from excess, including drugs and alcohol. Exercising and drinking water will help your body to function in new and improved ways. When food shopping, read the labels and know the ingredients. When dining out, ask for your meal to be prepared the way you want it. Take vitamins. Protect your body.
24. Be punctual, or early. Do your best to arrive at least 5-10 minutes early for appointments. When you are early for meetings and appointments, you are considerate of other people’s time. It also helps you to walk in without being frazzled, annoyed or stressed.
25. Be accountable for yourself. Do not blame other people. Take full responsibility for your actions and words. It’s a sign of maturity.
The Power of Silence in Communication
The Power of Silence is extraordinary. Yet so many people are afraid to use it. People are uncomfortable and nervous with silence because we are so accustomed to filling every space with words. Most of the time when we feel obligated to fill silence and keep speaking, we are polluting the air with meaningless chatter that doesn’t add much to the conversation. I teach this in my media training classes and in programs on resolving workplace conflicts, Emotional Intelligence for College Students and sales.
Consider how powerful silence can be. Certain people know how to leverage silence. Great speakers and accomplished actors use their eloquent words as melodically as they slip in their cleverly placed pauses and silence. They carefully bring you into their moment and you become enveloped in their language, movements, stories and emotions. You’re mesmerized and hooked.
Strong communicators who are keenly astute about interpersonal relationships and leadership excel in their use of silence.
At work, sales professionals aren’t the only ones who must understand a carefully placed pause. When they throw down the gauntlet to a prospect and ask the loaded question, “Are you ready to sign the contract?,” nervous overspeaking will almost always kill the deal. When you ask your boss for a raise or promotion, simply stop and allow silence into your conversation. When you ask your partner if he/she loves you…well you get the picture.
U.S. actor, author, & humorist Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) said, “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”
Silence is often more powerful than words.
The One Class That Can Change The World
My kids, ages 15 and 13, are in the midst of taking their annual standardized TAKS (Texas Assessment, Knowledge and Skills) Tests. In New York, it’s the Regents. Regardless of where you grew up, you probably took a similar, often dreaded test with hopes you had retained enough information and critical thinking skills to be promoted to the next grade.
The one class that seems to be missing from every single school curriculum in the nation is a class on self-love. Learning how to truly love and accept ourselves, unconditionally, would forever alter our paths. This one skill leads to success at work, improved interpersonal communication, and a huge boost in self-confidence. Our attitudes come into play as well.
Learning self-love would rescue students from listening to that unforgiving, relentless, doubt-filled soundtrack in their heads that they are not good enough, smart, enough, attractive enough, funny enough…on and on. It’s the poisonous soundtrack that stays with so many of us for a lifetime. It gnaws away at the root of our emotions, hearts and desires.
Imagine a place where the children and adults were free of negative self-talk, deep wounds and heavy hearts. What would your life be like if you had taken a class in elementary school on how to unequivocally love yourself? To accept yourself precisely the way you were created? Maybe our kids could skip a few science or reading sessions and learn how to unconditionally accept themselves, exactly the way they are.
It’s often hard for us to teach this priceless lesson to our children when we ourselves have not fully learned or lived it.
We must learn to silence our own critic and judge (the gremlin) that robs us of our potential, dreams and gifts.
Reinventing Yourself and the Shameless Art of Self-Promotion
The Most Valuable Player in the Superbowl was Santonio Holmes, the wide receiver on the Pittsburgh Steelers who caught the winning touchdown with just 35 seconds left in the game. Whether you agree with the referee’s call that Holmes was inbounds or not, it doesn’t matter. The interesting thing in learning more about #10 on the Steelers is that the 24-year-old says he grew up in a rough neighborhood in south Florida, chasing and killing rabbits in the swamps with his buddies for fun. When he got older Holmes says he sold drugs on the local street corner. He always played football. His big break came when he was drafted by Ohio State to play ball.
In an interview with the Associated Press’ Paul Newberry, Holmes said he was able to reinvent himself. He had been given a new chance when he got away from his rural hometown and onto a college campus.
Holmes is like many other famous and not-so-famous people who have had the opportunity to reinvent themselves (present company included). Consider singer and actress Cher, who has morphed before our eyes in many ways and clothing lines for decades. Angelina Jolie says for years she abused drugs, including heroin, and alcohol. She’s now a goodwill ambassador doing wonderful things around the world. Actor Paul Newman launched his own food line and donated proceeds to a nonprofit foundation for children.
It’s all in our personal brand, marketing and self-confidence. Too often, ordinary folks like you and me mistakenly lock ourselves into limiting beliefs from the past. We get stuck listening to negative self-talk and agreeing with other people’s poison that we have come to accept as reality. If someone had told me 15 years ago that I would be selling PR services and providing speaking and training programs, I would have laughed in their face. “That’s not me” I used to say.
You can pursue a new career path, learn a new skill, and explore talents that may be lying dormant. I work with a lot of news reporters who are losing their jobs and are disgusted with the doom and gloom of low-paying and competitive jobs. They lack the self-confidence to believe they have marketable skills that can be used to transition into new careers. Their self-esteem is non-existent because they believe that they are actually worth what their salary says they are worth. Someone else assigned a number to them and they fell for it.
In April, I will be hosting a program for news reporters and media professionals who want desperately to get out of the media business and reinvent themselves. They don’t know where to begin, and how to get out of their own way. I routinely get calls and emails from people who want to know how I made the successful transition years ago. They are hungry for advice, guidance and words of wisdom.
I reinvented myself. Santonio Holmes defied the odds and became someone else.
How about you? Do you need the self-confidence, vision and passion to grow and evolve with these changing times? Contact me at www.getinfrontcommunications.com for coaching and consulting.
On Leadership
I’m putting together my keynote kickoff program for a college student leadership series at Texas A & M. It’s interesting that we teach our up and coming students the qualities and traits of great leaders. It’s tough to count how many books have been written on leadership in the last five years alone.There aren’t many books on followers and people who are mediocre. There are plenty of books on how to stop being medioicre and kick-start your life into success (and leadership).
We teach the next generation to develop the qualities of a good leader: integrity, trustworthiness, honesty, strong communicator, motivated, personable, charismatic, organized, driven, and creative. All qualities of top leaders.
As I’m preparing for the college program, I came across some great quotes on leadership. Some were spoken by the likes of presidents, world leaders and corporate big shots. Others were spoken by seemingly ordinary people who are making their marks in their own communities, jobs and families.
I wanted to share a few of the ones that have truly inspired me. I think they’ll inspire you too. By the way, every Wednesday, I e-mail a motivational quote “Just A Thought” to people who request it. Sign up at www.getinfrontcommunications.com.
“If you don’t want people to know what you do, don’t do it.” -Dr. Julia So
“I believe the first test of a truly great man is his humility. I do not mean by humility, doubt of his own powers. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not in them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man.” -John Ruskin
“Leadership is action, not position.” -Donald H. McGannon
“A great man is always willing to be little.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You either take responsibility or you take orders” -Wayne Morgan
“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” -Dwight Eisenhower
“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” - Albert Einstein
NLP: The Breakthrough Communication & Business Tool
One of the greatest and most exciting discoveries in business, communication and psychology in the past 30 years has been the development of a communication and rapport-building tool called Neurolinguistic Programming. NLP was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970’s at the University of Santa Cruz in California. At the time, Bandler was a studying for his master’s degree in information science and mathematics. Grinder was a professor of linguistics (language). After discussing how some people are able to “get through to difficult people while others can’t,” the pair developed NLP. It examines the relationships between thought, communication, and behavior.
In my workshops, trainings and coaching, I teach business and nonprofit professionals, along with college students, that NLP is a methodology for modeling human excellence. The core of NLP is based on interpersonal relationships. It focuses on building rapport, behavioral flexibility, outcome thinking and modeling. It allows us to explore how we organize our thinking processes, beliefs, and behaviors. NLP can serve as a map of our past experiences. It teaches us to better utilize those experiences in our current situations and relationships. It can range from the secrets of eye contact, body language and listening skills to limiting self talk, human “mirroring” and assertive communication. NLP is used by top politicians, business leaders and athletes worldwide. Strong leaders and communicators know NLP. It’s fascinating.
NLP helps us to bridge communication gaps (it works in personal relationships too!) I was recently in a client meeting for my PR company. There were three people from the marketing department of a bank and myself. They needed my expertise on an upcoming public relations strategy. As they started to share basic background on the initiative, they clearly disagreed and were divided about the scope of the project. Lines were being drawn. Ego, psychology, and power, among other things, were on the line. By carefully observing the personalities and styles of the participants, and using Emotional Intelligence, I was able to quickly decipher their different modalities (senses).
• Visual – Most people are visual. They learn by seeing and most are avid readers. They need to actually see how something is done in order to comprehend it. They use expressions like, “I see” and “I get the picture.”
• Auditory- Others learn by hearing. They can hear something explained once or twice and have full understanding. Auditory people tend to use phrases like, “That’s music to my ears” and “That sounds good to me.”
• Kinesthetic – These folks learn best through touch and feeling. Artists and creative people are usually kinesthetic. They may say things like “I get the point” and “I feel comfortable with that plan.”
While we tend to have one dominant modality, there is always overlap. To effectively communicate with co-workers, management, prospects, and clients, we need to understand how they are wired and then develop rapport and trust. In the bank meeting, as I suggested compromises and bridging, the three marketing folks started to nod in agreement. There was no winner or loser; we came together as a team. I looked for similarities, not differences.
Take time to learn more about Neurolinguistic Programming and how it can be used in all areas of your life. Having this skill set can create major breakthroughs in all of your relationships.
Get Publicity with a Proactive Public Relations Strategy
It’s here! I just rolled out details on my free, two-hour Teleseminar, “How to Build Your Proactive PR Strategy for 2009.” It’s set for Thursday, January 29 at 1:00 EST/12:00 PM Central.
The moment the e-mail blast went out today, responses and registrations started pouring in. This is a content-packed phone call for corporate PR professionals, entrepreneurs, speakers, authors, trainers, newcomers to PR and recent college grads. Let’s face it—everyone needs publicity. This is your shortcut and ticket to PR success!. You’ll discover inside media secrets from a seasoned radio news director and reporter on how you can grow your organization.
“Seats” on this call are limited- so take advantage of my 25 years of experience in news and PR. You’ll learn about a streamlined system to drastically increase your publicity, credibility and revenues.
Details are at www.prtoolbox.net.
The Two Keys To Your Success
If you ever consider areas of personal and professional development that you want to focus on, the two most important areas are communication and self-confidence.
Mastering these two skills will have a huge impact in every single area of your life.
Think about it. If you have superior communication skills, it affects all of your interpersonal communication and relationships. Outstanding communicators tend to motivated leaders who have positive attitudes, charisma, and vision. They understand the power of questions and the art of listening. Emotional Intelligence (compassion, congeniality, empathy, self awareness and assertiveness) is directly linked to strong communication skills.
Self-confidence is the key to success. Individuals with low self-esteem and self-worth are usually not leaders. You can blame everyone and everything under the sun for lack of self confidence. Maybe it was your parents, your first-grade teacher, the neighborhood bully, being overweight, and on and on….It’s time to end the “Pity Party” and know that you are in absolute control of your thoughts, behaviors, actions and habits. Regardless of what experiences you have had in the past, you can learn how to develop your self-confidence.
One of my favorite personal development books is the classic Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It sold 30 million copies worldwide, long before Tony Robbins, Dr. John Maxwell and Denis Waitley (they are among my favorites, but Maltz came first). Dr. Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1960’s and knew that he could repair the outer scars and wounds of people. He was more intrigued though by the inner scars and wounds that destroyed so many people. He spoke and wrote about self-destructive thoughts and behavior that are linked to a lack of self- confidence. According to Maltz, belief in yourself as a confident, competent human being is the cornerstone of success. We must acknowledge our self-worth and build our self-esteem. No one can do it for us.
If you want to supercharge your life, I recommend studying these two areas: communication and self-confidence. The rest will follow, like a miracle.
Sugar Coating Communication is for Kids and Grandma’s
I was recently interviewed for the International Association of MBAs. It was a fun and intriguing interview that prompted me to remember all the media training tips and strategies that I provide to my public relations clients. I invite you to read the interview. It’s titled, “Sugar Coating is for Kids and Grandma’s.” It is a short and quick read that covers personal PR and self-promotion, communicating with candor and “The 3 Most Dangerous Words.”
http://internationalmba.wordpress.com/2008/12/27/susan
If you enjoyed the interview, you’ll want to read Communicating with Confidence: Tips & Techniques for Powerful Business Communication. It covers these topics plus public speaking, reading body language, writing with simplicity, building rapport with Silent Listening skills, Emotional Intelligence, bridging communication gaps, NLP, and other topics on interpersonal relationships.
I am following the lead of a new associate I met recently. She told me she reads one new book a week and applies it to her life and/or business. I am grateful to her for this personal development tip. I have already started following her lead. Sign up for my free report, “Top 20 Success Tips to Master Your Life.” http://www.getinfrontcommunications.com/report/Top20SuccessTipstoMasterYourLife2008.htm
Communicate with Confidence. The sugar-coated stuff is for Kids and Grandma’s.
