Bridging Communication Gaps with NLP
One of the greatest and most exciting discoveries in business, communication and psychology in the past 30 years has been Neurolinguistic Programming. NLP was developed in the 1970’s at the University of Santa Cruz in California. The founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, began discussing how some people are able to “get through to difficult people, and others can’t.” That’s how NLP was born.
It examines the relationships between thought, communication, and behavior. This methodology is used by top business leaders, politicians and athletes around the world. There are connections with Emotional Intelligence, but NLP goes beyond EQ (empathy, compassion, assertive communication and self-awareness).
NLP focuses on four key areas: rapport, sensory awareness (modalities), outcome thinking and behavioral flexibility. NLP teaches us how to bridge communication gaps, looking for similarities rather than differences. It helps us to become aware of how others understand and process information so we can communicate with them more effectively. It includes the secrets of nonverbal communication, influence and trust-building, limiting self-talk and modeling human behavior. It’s fascinating.
The core of NLP is based on our sensory modalities. If we listen carefully when others speak, they will drop cues and clues as to which modality they prefer. The three main modalities are:
• Visual – Most people are visual. They learn by seeing. They need to actually see how something is done in order to comprehend it. They use expressions like “I see”, “I get the picture” and “That’s crystal clear to me.”
• Auditory – Others learn by hearing. They can hear something explained once or twice and have a full understanding of the subject. Auditory people tend to use phrases like “That’s music to my ears”, “That sounds good to me” and “That rings a bell.”
• Kinesthetic – These folks learn best through touch and feel. Artists and creative people are usually kinesthetic. They may say things like “I get the point”, “I can embrace that idea” and “I have a bad feeling about that.”
If you tend to be more visual and you are disagreeing with someone who is an auditory person, it’s as if you are speaking Spanish and they are speaking French. It’s extremely difficult to communicate. When you identify someone else’s prime modality, you can use it to bridge the gap, build rapport and engage them. The outcome will be quite different than if you were butting heads and feeling frustrated.
Take time to learn more about Neurolinguistic Programming and how it can be used in all areas of your life. Having this skill set can enrich your relationships.
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