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5 communication quotes from ‘the mother of media psychology,’ Dr. Joyce Brothers

by at 12:24 pm Leave a Comment

PBDJOBR EC017She has been dubbed “the mother of media psychology.”   

Dr. Joyce Brothers, a licensed psychologist who passed away on Monday, has been described by CNN as having “a reassuring and calming demeanor” that boosted her self-titled local talk show to syndication in the 1960s.

Dr. Brothers’ affable personality and willingness to talk about taboo subjects such as marriage, relationships, and families made her a household name for decades. Remember, this was a time when married couples on TV were sleeping in separate beds. The word ‘pregnant’ wasn’t uttered on television, either. 

According to NBC News, “Her television show would soon make her a pop culture fixture. She made nearly 100 appearances on Johnny Carson’s The Tonight Show. Her frequent public appearances propelled her to become one of the most admired women in America, appearing on Gallup’s list of most admired American women.”

Here are five insights on communication and media from Dr. Joyce Brothers:

  1. “There is such a thing as bad publicity.”
  2. “Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.”
  3. “If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.”
  4. “Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”
  5. “I invented media psychology. I was the first. The founding mother.” (1989)

Years ago, not everyone jumped on the media psychologist bandwagon.

“Dispensing advice on public airwaves didn’t please all of her colleagues,” reports CNN. “Some members of the American Psychological Association asked early in her media career that her membership be revoked because they didn’t think dispensing advice outside a one-on-one setting was appropriate.” However, the APA’s website says that media psychology became part of the organization’s structure in 1986.

Admittedly, I’m a bit troubled thinking that this wonderful talent paved the way for today’s sensationalist personalities like Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew Pinsky. 

But as we recall Dr. Brothers’ intelligence and accomplishments, we also note that she was fun. In the 1950s, Dr. Brothers was a TV game show contestant, winning more than $134,000 in prize money.  She made several cameo appearances in movies, including a parody in The Naked Gun. On the small screen, she was featured on Happy Days, The Simpsons, and Entourage.

Rest in peace, Dr. Joyce Brothers. You were a gifted media pioneer with talents that stretched across print, radio, television, and movies.

 

(Image via)

Filed Under: Communication, Interpersonal Relationships, Interviews, media, News, Television, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8 classic quotes from New York Mayor Ed Koch

by at 3:54 pm Leave a Comment

kochThe beloved former Mayor of New York City, Ed Koch passed away early today.

He may be gone, but he leaves behind a trove of sound bites and quotes for us to enjoy. 

Koch was a three-term mayor in New York (1978-1989), a time defined by near financial ruin, government corruption, and AIDS. He was an author and activist. He even appeared on The People’s Court.

A man who often asked people, ”How’m I doin’?,”  Koch has been described as acid-tongued, feisty, and pretentious. He was an iconic New Yorker. 

I remember Ed Koch’s press conferences and interviews being laced with ‘ah’s’ and ‘ums’. These are the cardinal sins of Toastmasters and professional speakers.

But for Ed Koch, his vocal habits weren’t sinful. They defined him as being real. Mayor Koch spoke his mind. There was nothing tricky about him. Koch’s press conferences showed him without a jacket, sporting a wrinkled shirt, and rolled-up sleeves. Watch out.

Maybe you followed him on Twitter @Mayoredkoch

Here are some classics to shed light on how Mayor Koch communicated and lived:  

1. “I know many writers who first dictate passages, then polish what they have dictated. I speak, then I polish. Occasionally I do windows.”

 2. “You punch me, I punch back. I do not believe it’s good for one’s self-respect to be a punching bag.”

3. “Tone can be as important as text.”

4. His advice to young people: “Enjoy what you’re doing or don’t do it. That doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult or won’t challenge you, but if you are involved in something that’s causing you to say, ‘Why am I doing this?’ then you’re in the wrong business.”

5. The Mayor, who had never married, was asked by reporters about his sexuality. His response: ”My answer to questions on this subject is simply, ‘F— off.’ There have to be some private matters left.”

6. Koch’s spokesman George Arzt remembered Hizzoner’s sense of humor. “I got into the car and said I couldn’t believe how a kid who grew up in Williamsburg was now sitting next to the mayor. Then the mayor said: “Oh shut, up. Everybody comes from somewhere.”

7. In one of his last interviews, Koch told Vanity Fair Magazine: “At age 88, I wake up every morning and say to myself, ‘Well, I’m still in New York. Thank you, God.’”  

8. In 1983, Mayor Koch bought a burial plot at the Trinity Church Cemetery. It was the only cemetery in Manhattan that still had space. Koch, who was Jewish, told the Associated Press: ”I don’t want to leave Manhattan, even when I’m gone. This is my home. The thought of having to go to New Jersey was so distressing to me.” Soon after he purchased the burial plot, Mayor Koch had an engraved marker placed at the site. It has the last words of slain journalist Daniel Pearl: ”"My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish.”

 Rest in peace, Mayor Koch. 

(Image via)

Filed Under: Communication, Interpersonal Relationships, Leadership, media, Self-Confidence Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What does social media mean to you?

by at 8:00 pm 3 Comments

fence graffitiCommunication, conversation, and connection.

These are just a few of the words used by 10 Twitter stars who I asked to define social media.  Don’t mind the abbreviations; the goal was to offer a definition in 140 characters or less. 

Feel free to comment below and share your own 140 character snippet.

1. SM allows me to participate in discussions about entrepreneurship that I hope will one day change the world. I also get to give back. @BrianMoran

2. Social=meaning friendly gathering. Media=form of communication. Reminding us to gather friendly when we communicate with others. @JessicaNorthey

3. SM has totally shifted the way that small & large businesses connect with audience. It is about the hand shake, conversation, relationship online. @MamaBritt

4. Social Media = Global Diversity – The ability to have a local, national or global & inclusive conversation. Do you have what it takes? @FleeJack

5. Social media is a great way to share insight & connect with people globally. It’s the perfect give & get communications medium. @Rieva

6. Welcome to the ‘Age of Influence,’ where anyone can build an audience, build relationships, effect change… and make a difference. @TedRubin

7. Social media is a great way to connect and inspire your target audience. It is also a great place to build real relationships with those you want. @RayHigdon

8. It’s an opportunity to ‘meet’ people you would have never met otherwise, to share what you know and learn some too! @LeadToday

9. SM is an unprecedented opportunity 2 elevate/expand ur influence. Each tweet/share is a chance 2B more informed, amazed & appreciative. @AngelaMaiers

10. SM gives me the ability to make wonderful connections with people that would be all but impossible in an analog world. @MackCollier

Be sure to follow these folks on Twitter and other social channels. They are smart, savvy, and succinct!

Filed Under: Business, Interpersonal Relationships, networking, Online Marketing, Social Media, Social Networking Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The most important second

by at 3:18 pm 2 Comments

sheet music“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”—Spanish Proverb

Much has been written about time and procrastination. We often don’t realize how precious time is until faced with a crisis, usually related to our health or mortality. 

We spend obscene amounts of time watching mindless reality shows and TV. We dwell on our past mistakes and worry about future problems. We read books and attend presentations on time management and productivity. We fool ourselves.

And here we are on New Year’s Eve when everyone is keenly aware of the time. Social channels are filled with posts and stories assessing the past 12 months, and predicting trends for the next 12 months.

We stay up until midnight, count down the seconds, and watch festivities on TV. We kiss our loved ones.

That one second seems so important, and then it’s gone. In that split second of the clock striking 12, the calendar page turns and…here we are.

What’s really changed?

Most of us go back to the same patterns and habits that frustrated us last year. We fail to take on new challenges and opportunities to learn, grow, and change. We’re stuck in a comfort zone of mediocrity. Our fears and paralyzing beliefs have joined us in the New Year. Damn.  

We don’t need a clock or resolution to become better people and discover our gifts and talents. We simply need to decide that it’s time.  We can decide in February, July, or September. Don’t procrastinate on living your life with purpose and soul. 

The Bottom Line: The most important second is not on New Year’s Eve. It’s right now. 

Happy New Year!

 

 

Filed Under: Business, Communication, Self-Confidence, Success Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 PR stars reveal secrets for social media success in 2013

by at 4:25 pm 13 Comments

Seats at a tableWant to kick-start your social media optimization in 2013? Of course you do. 

I asked 10 distinguished PR and social media pros to share their views on how it can be done. 

Here are their responses, with my appreciation for their insights!

Margo Mateas, Founder, The PR Trainer:  “PR pros need to remember to take time to become part of the communities they want to reach, and not just engage in ‘driveby’ social media. It only takes a second to ‘Like’ someone else’s post or to leave a supportive comment. This strengthens trust and makes it more likely for them reciprocate the next time you’re promoting something.”

Deirdre Breakenridge, CEO, Pure Performance Communications:  “Take the best of your communications past into 2013; your ethics, accountability, critical thinking and great communications skills. At the same time, be open to different types of engagement through social media, by experimenting and embracing new technology to build stronger relationships with stakeholders. You need to be 10 steps ahead to counsel senior executives about the changing media landscape, and on the same page with savvy, wired consumers to understand their preferences and to better serve their needs.”  

Brad Phillips, Mr. Media Training, author, The Media Training Bible: 101 Things You Absolutely, Positively Need to Know Before Your Next Interview: “Few public relations professionals can keep up with all of the new social networking sites that seem to pop up on a monthly basis. So as a New Year’s resolution, PR pros should try to familiarize themselves with each of the platforms—and then commit to participating in the one that is most likely to help them reach their audiences and accomplish their goals.” 

Amy D. Howell, CEO, Howell Marketing Strategies, LLC:  “Our firm will be measuring how the social posts are driving more traffic to client websites and how that is helping their SEO. We have completed upgrades to client websites to include integration of social platforms.”  

Jeff Domansky, The PR Coach & Principal, Peak Communications: ”I’m excited about 2013. It will be the year of the ‘visual.’ Whether you’re storytelling, blogging, content marketing, doing media relations or social PR, great pics and video will drive your success. And everything you do better work on mobile, too.”

Ann Handley, Chief Content Officer, MarketingProfs: “Focus less on what you think you ‘have’ to do to maintain a social presence. Focus more on what is meaningful for your brand.”

Stacey Acevero, Social Media Manager, Vocus/PRWeb: “Think about social media as a book, or a timeline of the story of your business. But it’s not storytelling, it’s telling a true story well–so write social media posts that inspire conversation, share thoughts and real outcomes that resonate with your audience. Be less ‘braggy’ and involve the insights of others in your PR story.”

Joan Stewart, aka The Publicity Hound: ”Recycle your content, create it in multiple formats, and share it on the social media sites. Example: Take a how-to blog post and turn it into an MP3, and then a video (record yourself offering 3 tips from the article), and then a slideshow for LinkedIn, and then a series of photos for a Pinterest board. Note to self: Do this in 2013 and stop creating content from scratch!”   

Michael Cherenson,  APR, Executive VP, Success Communications Group; 2009, Chair and CEO, PRSA: “Social media is public relations and today’s professionals, to better serve their clients and help advance their own careers, need to invest in training and learn how to re-learn the art of communications. Every public relations professional must become an active participant, native to various social media platforms. And PR pros need to recognize Google’s algorithm is now one of our most important publics; your content needs to entice your audience and Google’s search engine.”

Shonali Burke, Principal, Shonali Burke Consulting, Inc.:  “I see far too many PR pros functioning in a bubble. Offline, they live and work in the bubble of the agency world, and online they don’t interact with people from different industries and walks of life. One of the best things about social media is the way it can connect you with just about anyone else in the world who is using that platform. It’s amazing what we can learn from people so very different from us. So as we embark on 2013, let’s rediscover what makes social media so wonderful-the ability to converse with literally just about anyone.”

Which piece of advice will you be focusing on in 2013?

Filed Under: Branding, Business, Online Marketing, PR, Public Relations, Social Media Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Musings from a new 50-year-old

by at 7:53 pm 11 Comments

Today’s my “big birthday.” 5-0.

I won’t reflect on ”Where did the time go?” 

I won’t say 50 is the new 30. Gravity tells me otherwise.

I will say that this past week I have become remarkably indifferent about this birthday.

I was going to write a post such as, “50 things PR has taught me.” Or, ”50 snappy lessons from a 50-year-old.” Blah, blah, blah.

Instead, let’s go back 25 years. It’s 1987. On my 25th birthday, I sat in the den in the house I grew up in and talked with my mom. 

When she expressed shock that I was 25 (and she wasn’t), I responded that I hadn’t accomplished much in 25 years. But of course, a mother’s wisdom emerged with this gem: 

“You’ve been in school for most of your 25 years. It’s the next 25 years that will be more telling. G-dwilling, we should revisit this conversation when you’re 50. Then if you say that you haven’t done much, that’s a different story.”  

Good point.

Today, I’m blessed that my parents are still with me and have seen my accomplishments these past 25 years. Naturally, they have been there for the rough patches, too. Which leads me to being grateful for my own two children, my husband, Andrew, my sisters, brother-in-law and their families. Throw in a big extended family, too. 

As a 50-year-old, I will share this with you: 

  • I checked the mirror this morning to make certain I didn’t wake up with a moustache. Mood swings: Stay tuned. 
  • I have stopped short of cutting my hair like Jamie Lee Curtis. 
  • I still get a peculiar look on my face when I look in the garage at my 2012 Hyundai Elantra. It’s a far cry from my first car, a 1981 Chevy Camaro. 

 

It’s been a hell of a run these past 25 years.

Big plans for me? Not so much. I won’t be spending time trying to figure out what the next two decades may bring.  

Instead, I’ll be busy taking a few deep breaths and enjoying the blessings of the moment.

Every day should be celebrated like this. It’s all I’ve got.   

 

Filed Under: Communication, Interpersonal Relationships, Motivation, Self-Confidence, Success, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

5 signs that PR leaders are impacting business results

by at 3:44 am 2 Comments

Public relations is coming into its own and the industry appears more than ready to embrace a new level of respect.

How do I know this?

Consider the following points:   

1. PR is more strategic than ever. There’s an increased understanding that a broader view of business is required in today’s marketplace. PR pros who fully grasp how their work directly impacts sales and marketing are sitting at the table with the C-suite. Messaging and money go hand-in-hand. 

2. PR pros are communicating like project managers. We are tracking the minutiae in our assignments. We are in constant communication with team members. Our work is completed on time and under budget. That’s because we can course correct in the midst of a project instead of running out of time and resources. We’re using online spreadsheets, graphics, and images to track progress, next steps, and metrics. Communicators are getting better at this thing called communication.

3. PR pros—the good ones, anyway—are buying into the vision. These are the passionate ones; the folks who are curious and courageous. Those who lack passion, including managers, are crap magnets that are blind to the company vision. Passionate PR pros understand the work that needs to get done every day to achieve more and compete in a fierce market. They surround themselves with like-minded people, leaving no room for the mediocre.   

4. PR pros are well-versed in more than just one language.  The smart ones are able to speak to their clients in their own industry language. Whether it’s Software-as-a-Service, designer jewelry, healthcare, or aerospace engineering, PR stars shine brightest when they can hold their own and engage with niche clients.  These PR leaders exude the confidence and knowledge to not only be invited to sit at the proverbial table, but to actually offer ideas and insights as a valued member of the team. Courtesy seats with the C-suite rarely exist.  

5. PR pros recognize what is required to service business-to-business clients. Delving into the needs of the customer’s customer helps solidify B2B relationships. Creativity and projects move to deeper levels and vertical markets, which has customers coming back, and offering referrals. It’s simple.  You get it.    

Business and motivational speaker Denis Waitley said: ”Your success depends on how well you think. You are not paid to collect, sort, store or retrieve information, although you do these things every day. You are paid to interpret that information and create and implement new ideas.”

As we head into the last quarter of 2012, it’s clear that PR means business. Would you agree?

 

Filed Under: Business, Communication, Creativity, Leadership, Metrics, PR, sales Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Leaders: Are you managing based on love or fear?

by at 2:53 pm 3 Comments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s the magic formula of a good leader? Most people will say they admire leaders who are:

  • Strong communicators
  • Honest
  • Visionaries
  • Consensus builders
  • Strategic thinkers
  • Savvy about business
  • Enthusiastic
  • Empathetic
  • Creative
  • Patient
  • Charismatic
  • Good listeners
  • Fair
  • Approachable
  • Open to admitting mistakes
  • Willing to share credit for success and celebrate with the team

If you’ve spent more than a few years in the workplace, you may wonder if such a person exists.

Leaders — like most people—want to be liked and respected. Yet some follow the path of fear, believing that workers who are apprehensive and live with trepidation will be productive.

They come from the mindset that work is not a popularity contest.

Martin Addison writes on TrainingJournal.com:

A dictatorial management style based around fear and control can be effective for some teams or departments. For example, for those working in a set and specific role in a highly structured environment. If you want to control people and get them to undertake certain tasks, through orders and instructions, then fear and intimidation can work as a way of getting people to do what you want.
The downside is that fear creates mistrust. In an intimidating environment—or where people are fearful of losing their jobs—they may work hard but they won’t deliver to their real capability because they’ll want to ensure that they don’t make mistakes. They won’t rock the boat or take risks because they won’t want to get punished. As soon as they feel that there will be consequences if they don’t succeed, they’ll stop performing.

Does HR seem busier when a manager is feared and not loved? Some employees may complain while others are afraid to gripe to HR because of their bosses’ management style.

A more spiritual and gentler approach to supervising others comes from Tao leadership. A post on Tao-in-you.com maintains that the best leader “is one whose existence is barely known by the people.”

“I have heard my master say that nurturing life is like keeping a flock of sheep,” says author Chuang Tzu. “You lash the last sheep, and the rest will move.”
The leadership style is effective and effortless.
It is so different from bulldozing. It is Tao leadership.
You hold a whip in your hand, but you are kind to the flock. You lash only when it is absolutely necessary, and only on the last sheep—one that makes the whole flock move.
Instead of pushing, you work on the nature of the flock. Although the flock is totally under your control, it follows without knowing that you exist.
The challenge, of course, is on knowing where the last sheep is.

These two examples of leadership show us two very different approaches. Somewhere in the middle is your organizational philosophy.

After all, whether leaders manage and communicate with love, respect, or fear, it sets the tone for your corporate culture.

Filed Under: Business, Communication, Interpersonal Relationships, Leadership, rapport Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

An open letter to people in a hurry

by at 2:00 am 1 Comment

Dear Social Media,

I wanted to talk to you in person but it’s been too hard to nail you down. You seem to be all over the place. Sometimes it feels like your head is in the cloud (s). So instead, I decided to write this post.  

To be honest, I am pretty damn disgusted with the time I’ve spent with you.

Yes, I have made wonderful connections with truly smart and good-hearted people throughout the world. You have brought knowledge and information to me that I never dreamed I would need— or want. 

I’ve even been OK with the occasional auto responder DM I get on Twitter. If only someone would develop an app to stop this incessant spam and junk mail about Viagra, weight loss, and inheritances. I don’t have a penis, I’m perimenopausal, and the inheritance was spent in the 1990s.

But the real reason I am posting this is that I must know: When will I start seeing some R-O-I on my social media activities? I’m chatting, tweeting and Facebooking. I post videos. I have a book. I’m working my rear-end off.

It’s been six months of this ‘free’ strategy stuff. People are retweeting me, commenting on my blog, and becoming fans. But my Paypal and Shopping Cart are covered with cobwebs. I’ve barely made a plug nickel from all of this building trust and branding crap.   

What gives, my friend? When do you step in and start showing me this is a two-way relationship?  

 @SueYoungMedia

Dear @SueYoungMedia,

I’m glad you got this out in the open. I’m all about communication. 

How long does it take someone to make a best friend? I bet it’s more than a few conversations.  You don’t keep track of the time you’ve invested in this friend. One day you may just realize that this person is your BFF.

How did it happen? Time. Patience. Trust. Comfort. Respect. Common interests.

How long will it take?

Put away the stop watch. Rip up the calendar page. If you’re super focused on the dust bunnies in your PayPal account, our friendship may need a break. 

I don’t want to leave you high and dry, but if you are hell-bent on selling stuff, pay for an ad. 

Right channel. Wrong pew. 

Cheers.

Filed Under: ROI, Social Media, Social media measurement, Success Tagged With: , , , , ,

5 secrets to relationship-based selling online

by at 5:17 pm 7 Comments

Communicating online isn’t about technology. It’s about tapping into technology to connect with human beings.

With all the typing and tablets — and the absence of seeing a human face — it’s easy to forget that your online credibility is directly linked to relationship-based selling.

Don’t think numbers, think people.

Relationship-based selling is about helping people and organizations solve their business problems without the hard sales push that all of us loathe. It’s about truly putting the needs of others before your own.

This is the secret to building credibility in your social media circles. The digital landscape is vast, yet there is no room for selfish.

Yes, you have a mortgage to pay. Yes, your car needs an unexpected repair. Yes, your kids need new sneakers.

But when you’re able to put these challenges aside and not be driven by your own drama, you will come from a place of service and gratitude.  Conversely, when you chase numbers, you almost always fall short.

Remember that desperation is very unappealing in business.

How do you let followers, friends, and connections know that you care deeply about their success?

Consider these five social media tips to build your credibility and relationships: 

1. Listen to the conversations. Don’t throw yourself into an online chat or dialogue until you have a sense of the players and personalities. The benefits of this are two-fold. First, you will determine if this particular forum is appropriate and hits your target audience. Second, you will gain insights about the players and their interests, areas of expertise, and work.  When you do your homework, your posts, tweets and content clearly show readers that you “get it.”

2. Stay up-to-date. Pay attention to industry twists, turns and trends. By keeping your finger on the pulse of the HR and recruiting industries, you will quickly discover the hot topics and issues your prospects are paying attention to. To save time, subscribe to e-newsletters, RSS feeds, and Google Alerts that filter important information from the Web.        

3. Focus on solutions. Write for the reader and forget the sales pitch. It’s easy to outline problems, but people are looking for answers. Be willing to offer your knowledge without the expectation of receiving anything back. Your day will come. That’s the way the universe works.

4. Share good information from other people.  Forget ulterior motives. The content you provide can — and should — come from other people and sources. Your generosity will be noticed — and appreciated. This also takes the pressure off of you to be the sole creator of content.  To ensure your credibility is being boosted, check the link and content for accuracy before sharing.   

5. Be a guest. Offer to be a guest blogger on a popular website. Offer to be the guest expert on a Twitter chat or webinar. Put yourself out there with the single goal of openly sharing your expertise and insights.

When you position yourself as a credible expert in your field, people will want to buy from you. You won’t have to sell anything.

 

Filed Under: Business, Communicators, Interpersonal Relationships, networking, sales, Social Networking Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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