Specializing in social marketing and business communications training

5 communication quotes from ‘the mother of media psychology,’ Dr. Joyce Brothers

PBDJOBR EC017She has been dubbed “the mother of media psychology.”   

Dr. Joyce Brothers, a licensed psychologist who passed away on Monday, has been described by CNN as having “a reassuring and calming demeanor” that boosted her self-titled local talk show to syndication in the 1960s.

Dr. Brothers’ affable personality and willingness to talk about taboo subjects such as marriage, relationships, and families made her a household name for decades. Remember, this was a time when married couples on TV were sleeping in separate beds. The word ‘pregnant’ wasn’t uttered on television, either. 

According to NBC News, “Her television show would soon make her a pop culture fixture. She made nearly 100 appearances on Johnny Carson’s The Tonight Show. Her frequent public appearances propelled her to become one of the most admired women in America, appearing on Gallup’s list of most admired American women.”

Here are five insights on communication and media from Dr. Joyce Brothers:

  1. “There is such a thing as bad publicity.”
  2. Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.”
  3. “If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.”
  4. “Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”
  5. “I invented media psychology. I was the first. The founding mother.” (1989)

Years ago, not everyone jumped on the media psychologist bandwagon.

“Dispensing advice on public airwaves didn’t please all of her colleagues,” reports CNN. “Some members of the American Psychological Association asked early in her media career that her membership be revoked because they didn’t think dispensing advice outside a one-on-one setting was appropriate.” However, the APA’s website says that media psychology became part of the organization’s structure in 1986.

Admittedly, I’m a bit troubled thinking that this wonderful talent paved the way for today’s sensationalist personalities like Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew Pinsky. 

But as we recall Dr. Brothers’ intelligence and accomplishments, we also note that she was fun. In the 1950s, Dr. Brothers was a TV game show contestant, winning more than $134,000 in prize money.  She made several cameo appearances in movies, including a parody in The Naked Gun. On the small screen, she was featured on Happy Days, The Simpsons, and Entourage.

Rest in peace, Dr. Joyce Brothers. You were a gifted media pioneer with talents that stretched across print, radio, television, and movies.

 

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Secrets to pitching major news media

safe dialHow do you gain trust and influence with reporters at big time news outlets?

Joe Connolly receives hundreds of pitches and press releases every week. He’s The Wall Street Journal Business Correspondent for CBS Radio in New York.

Like Connolly, I have been on the receiving end of pitches from businesses, government agencies, and nonprofits. Some days you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

In a recent interview, I asked Connolly to share some dos and don’ts when pitching stories. For example, Connolly admits he has a hang-up with the word ‘announce.’

“If the release says ‘so-and-so is pleased to announce,’ I don’t read any further. I don’t want self-serving. The headline and lead have got to ring true.”

The secret sauce

You may be surprised, but Connolly suggests that anyone writing a news release start two-to-three months in advance. “Follow your local paper, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, television and radio until you see or hear something about your industry. Look for things that you think are really good, really on the mark, and really accurate.  Then call or e-mail that reporter saying you saw the article or interview. Tell them, ‘I’m exactly like XXXX, you might be interested to know we are also doing such and such…’”

Connolly goes on to remind us about the importance of complimenting reporters. “They are just like anybody else. They want to get positive feedback and they’ll think, ‘Wow, this is a really sharp person.’  A lot of my frequent contacts are people who reached out to me because they heard me talking about something that rang a bell in their industry.”

The best opening line for a phone pitch 

Like so many other reporters, Connolly’s pet peeve when getting pitched on the phone is in the opening line. “If I answer the phone, don’t ask me how I am.  Just say, ‘Hi Joe, this is xx from X Company, are you on deadline?’ That’s the best opening line of all. I just think that’s the greatest way to open a call with a reporter.”  Note to self: Connolly prefers e-mail pitches.

The final tip

For important media, call and pitch the story yourself. You are the business owner, says Connolly. “Whatever you do, don’t have a summer intern call around with news releases. That is an insult unless they are calling a 23-year-old reporter who is starting out.”

Send your pitches to Connolly@cbsnewyork.com.

PS: I invite you to take a peek at my new Kindle book, The Badass Book of Social Media and Business Communication. It’s packed with tips and insights on creating news, blogging, communication, and more!

10 communication things every entrepreneur must know

guitar in bar in CCIt’s been 4,745 days of being self-employed.  In April, 2001, I started my PR and communications company.   

A few years ago, my accountant, who is also self-employed, shared his definition of an entrepreneur:

“I am a self-employed individual working for a lunatic.”

As I mark this proud milestone, I have taken time to reflect on the entrepreneurial roller coaster I have ridden.

Here are 10 communication tactics every small business owner must know:

1. You must know how to sell. Too many people decide to hang their shingle out only to learn they don’t know bubkus about sales. Entrepreneurs must be diligent at developing the self-confidence, attitude,   discipline, and perseverance to ask people to hand over their hard-earned money.

 2. You must live the ‘publish or perish’ mentality. In my pre-blogging days, I wrote bylined articles for trade publications and membership newsletters. Early on, I landed a spot as a columnist for the Princeton (NJ) Business Journal. I generated content and built my credibility. My volunteer gig lasted more than two years, and ended when the paper merged with another publication.   

 3. You must be willing to speak in public. You were brave enough to launch a small business. There’s no time for being shy or nervous. Partner with a networking group to be the guest expert at a meeting, conference, or webinar. You’ll be front and center with dozens of potential prospects interested in your topic. Beats cold-calling.  

 4. You must be able to validate others.  Validation is an acknowledgement that the other person (your prospect or client) is being heard. Validation is proof that you are listening. For example:  “I can imagine that the loss of your vendor has been difficult.”  

 5. You must know how to ask for what you need.  No one expects you to know everything. That’s why there are contact lists, databases, and rolodexes filled with names of people who can provide products and services to you. Get rid of this self-induced pressure and be willing to speak up. Asking for help is a sign of a true leader.

 6. You must be able to identify your ideal customers. This is accomplished by self-communication. Ask yourself: Who do I enjoy working with? What niche am I passionate about? Who needs my expertise? Do these people have the budget or resources to pay me?

 7. You must have thick skin. People can be awfully mean. They say crap that’s not helpful or positive. Entrepreneurs are so fully vested in their own businesses that it’s hard not to take things personally. Don’t take the BS to heart.

8. You must communicate patience when educating people. Clients do business with you because you offer a valuable product or service that they want or need.  You, on the other hand, are entrenched in your niche or business and will have to slow down to educate those who don’t know all the ins and outs like you do.

 9. You must develop charisma. Charisma is that special charm or personality trait that draws people to you. Self-confidence, along with a friendly and easy demeanor, will take you a long way in business.

 10. You must be willing to reinvent yourself. Chances are you are planning to be self-employed for a long time. Businesses and people change. It’s a given. How can you effectively communicate changes in your messages and direction, without alienating people?

Cheers to the brave small business owners around the world! What have you learned along the journey?

How ‘breaking news’ got broken

snakeoilHow exactly did the process of gathering news get to this point? 

We have allowed news readers to go on-the-air and vomit ambiguous language that holds no one accountable.

This is not the first time we have witnessed the media—with its authoritative voice and sheer power—destroy its own credibility.

The reporting of terrorism this week at the Boston Marathon, and the subsequent manhunt for the two suspects, left many ordinary people miffed about how news is gathered and shared. 

These past few years, I have watched breaking news stories and 24-hour channels that have repeatedly made sloppy assumptions that mainstream media should never have allowed. 

But it’s gotten so bad this week that people with no behind-the-scenes knowledge of how news decisions are made, have been mortified. I’ve worked as a news director and news reporter. I am beyond mortified.  

These five phrases have contributed to our damaged news coverage: 

1. “We believe that it’s likely…” My take: Accuracy trumps vague.  

2. “We are trying to follow-up on unconfirmed reports…” My take: Action trumps words. 

3. “There’s speculation from a variety of unnamed sources…” My take: Fact trumps speculation.

4. “We are just as confused as you are as we try to put the pieces together…” My take: Clarity trumps confusion.

5. “We have no new information.” My take: New information trumps empty words.

Veteran network newsman and strategist David Henderson writes:  

“The media–especially cable TV–is like a drunk on a binge, and cannot control their near-insane rush for dramatic announcements, replete with bold red warnings of apocalyptic disaster on the screen. Everything is an ‘Alert’ or ‘Breaking News.’ Yet, it seldom is. Wolf Blitzer saying over and over that John King has ‘exclusive information’ is not news. It’s promotion, publicity, boasting. As it turned in the Boston terror story, King’s ‘exclusive’ information was wrong. King was a font of misinformation … gossip.”

People around the world have been offering prayers for the victims and people of Boston.

Let us also extend a prayer for the pained news media. 

 

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10 PR and social media cheers and jeers from the Boston Marathon tragedy

boston marathon croppedMoments after the two initial explosions that rocked the finish line at Monday’s Boston Marathon, social media, bloggers, and traditional reporters took to various networks to ‘cover’ the unfolding story. Another opportunity for citizen journalists.  

I have watched the live coverage, video clips, tweets, and news broadcasts and have been struck by the following:  

Cheers to the people who immediately cancelled their automated tweets and postings.

Cheers to the ‘real’ PR pros that didn’t bother to call newsrooms, send releases, or pitch stories that have no obvious connection to the marathon. 

Cheers to people on Twitter who quoted their source or offered a link to a new development. Information without a source flies in the face of journalism. Well, it used to be that way. 

Cheers to people on the scene who used disclaimers when posting graphic visuals.

Cheers to the reporters who were running in the marathon for jumping into “media mode” amidst the chaos and fright.

Jeers to the chat organizers who plan to “carry on” as usual tonight.

Jeers to people posting non-related motivational quotes on Twitter. Really? 

Jeers to those playing up the Sandy Hook victims angle. Yes, there were relatives near the finish line and yes, the victims were remembered at the start of the marathon, but these folks have had enough. Leave them alone. 

Jeers to the reporters who complained on line that their assignments were changed at the last minute and they had to travel to Boston. 

Jeers to people tweeting about the Jodi Arias trial.  

Anything you would like to add?

Prayers and blessings to everyone affected by these senseless acts.

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7 communication gems from the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher

Margaret ThatcherLong before the Iron Chef was the buzz, the world had the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.

The first woman to serve as prime minister of Great Britain passed away today after suffering a stroke.

Margaret Thatcher is being remembered around the world as a pioneer for women and politics. Some have called Lady Thatcher divisive and influential, noting her communication style and leadership. 

The Guardian, a London Daily, described the 87-year-old as “the most dominant British prime minister since Winston Churchill in 1940 and a global champion of the late 20th century free market economic revival.” 

Thatcher, a conservative and close ally of President Ronald Reagan, served from 1979 until 1990. She was the longest-serving prime minister of the postwar era.

Here are seven quotes that capture the essence of Mrs. Thatcher’s philosophy, values, and communication.  

1. “Of course, it is the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.”

2. “In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” 

3. “You don’t tell deliberate lies, but sometimes you have to be evasive.”

4. “If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time and you would achieve nothing.”  — May 3, 1989, commenting on her 10th anniversary as prime minister.

5. “To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the U-turn, I have only one thing to say: You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning.”  —At a Conservative Party conference, 1980

6. “I don’t mind how much my minister’s talk, as long as they do what I say.”

7. “Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.” —1979

Finally, actress Meryl Steep who portrayed Margaret Thatcher in the Oscar-winning movie, The Iron Lady, said today: “She was a figure of awe for her personal strength and grit.”

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5 secrets to successfully pitch a Mediabistro editor

Patrick Coffee is the Editor of PRNewser, a daily blog published by Mediabistro.com.  Coffee and his team write about news, trends, and announcements in PR. He is based in New York.

Here are highlights from our recent conversation: 

On contacting him:  I get lots and lots of e-mail pitches every day. They come from most of the major PR firms, especially in New York City. Occasionally I’ll get phone calls, but it’s very rare, and that’s a good thing. I personally want e-mail. The more often someone calls me the less likely I am to run their story.

On subject lines: The most important part of an e-mail pitch is having an effective subject line. It has to get my attention without pandering or telling me, ‘I must read this.’ Writing subject lines is a subtle art form. It’s similar to Twitter, where there’s a limited space to get your message across. In terms of tone, convey to me there’s something interesting for me in the e-mail, without being too pushy about it.

On the e-mail pitch: The message has to be very clear and interesting to me.  Make it clear to me why my readers would be interested in the story, why does it stand out?  E-mail pitches should be personalized, beyond just copying and pasting my name and a greeting. A certain degree of personalization in the first couple of sentences is a very good idea. Tell me why you thought of me for this story and the people who may like this story. What is appealing about it? I always appreciate a quick summary of what the entire story is about in just a couple of sentences.

On building a community through blogging:  A lot of my readers come from my Twitter feed.  I tweet a lot and that attracts readers. For anyone who blogs, there has to be some degree of interaction. Everyone loves when someone responds to something they say. I’m not a big fan of people begging for attention. If you write a blog you’ll take some satisfaction knowing that people are not just looking at what you do, but that they are thinking about it and that they are responding to it in their own way. You can encourage that by retweeting what they have to say and following them back. 

On PR and social media: A lot of people in PR are very familiar and comfortable with social media. One concern is they are too comfortable. When working to promote a client or your own brand, you have to be disciplined in your message. It gets too casual sometimes, like with automated messaging. You want to be sure people know there’s a live person behind your account.

Final thought: Always think multimedia.  

PS: Do you want hundreds of tips on news pitches, PR, blogging, and content development? Get my new book, The Badass Book of Social Media and Business Communication. 

The revolution of people who report the news

miracle-of-the-hudson-plane-crash_625x352Today marks the fourth anniversary of the “Miracle on the Hudson.”

It’s also the day that citizen journalism and Twitter transformed the way news is covered around the world.  

In 2009, the U.S. Airways flight that “Captain Sulley” was piloting hit a flock of birds, disabling the plane’s engines. Captain Sulley and his crew managed to safely land the aircraft on New York’s Hudson River. Images of 155 passengers standing on the wings of the plane awaiting rescue on that frigid January day were splashed across the media and Internet. 

And this was the day a man named Janis Krums (Yanis Krooms) made the news media and ordinary citizens come to realize that the world no longer needed a professional news crew to report breaking news.

On January 15, 2009, every person in the world was given a press pass. 

It’s the technology, silly

Krums was on a ferry when Flight 1549 crashed on the Hudson. When I interviewed him about the famous picture he took moments after the crash, he told me others on the boat were taking pictures with their cell phones, so he took a few, too.

But it was Krums who knew how to use his technology and tweet the picture. His 300 Twitter followers helped the picture to go viral, bringing citizen journalism to a new level. Krums notes that he didn’t send the picture to any media outlets; he merely tweeted it to his followers. 

“At that moment, I saw the value in what it was, but I didn’t see the value of what it could become,” said Krums. ”I don’t think anyone could see that it could be spread around the world the way it was.”

Since that day, Krums has been labeled “the most famous citizen journalist of modern times.” 

The responsibility

During the past four years, we’ve seen the challenges that come with news that breaks real-time on Twitter and social media. We are grappling with the general public that uses their technology to capture breaking news. The problem is that most don’t understand the true responsibilities that come with a press pass.  

Consider these examples:

  • The capture of Osama Bin Laden
  • The Newtown, CT school shootings 
  • The Gabby Giffords shooting in Arizona  
  • Elections 
  • Hurricane Sandy and other natural disasters
  • The deaths of celebrities including Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston

 

Each of these has forced us to rethink the power of the Internet and the (hopefully) well-intentioned citizen journalists. People who are inexperienced in fact-checking and accuracy have brought a new layer to breaking news. 

Misinformation when reporting developing news stories is dangerous. 

As Krums told me, news will be reported, no matter what. ”The way it’s being reported is continuing to evolve. Traditional journalists will always be second on the scene from now on, especially in the developed world. That’s because more people have iPhones, smartphones, and video capability. If you have the ability to spread the message, you have the power.”

Let this serve as a reminder to each of us, including the mainstream media, that fact-checking and accuracy must be the priorities in covering the news. 

Anything less can not and should not be tolerated. 

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Communicators: You are in sales

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Don’t be shocked, but marketing, PR, and communications pros are in sales.

Think about it.

We are:    

  • Selling messages to clients
  • Selling ourselves to execs in the C-suite
  • Selling (pitching) stories to the media
  • Selling our time
  • Selling our intellectual capital
  • Selling our creativity
  • Selling access to our media and social contacts

 

To be a holistic business communicator, it’s time to stop selling and start building. Build your listening skills and relationships with prospects, the C-suite, colleagues, and reporters. We must move away from the “What can we get?” attitude to “What can we give?”

The holistic communicator

In a typical day, people are trying to get our e-mail addresses. They are trying to get us to sign-up for something. They are trying to get our hard-earned money. They are trying to get access to our personal information. They are often trying to get over on us. Get, get, get. This approach only brings short-lived success.  

The flip side of get, get, get is give, give, give. 

The most successful people in business are those who focus on what they can give to others, and not what they can get, get, get. High achievers are comfortable in deflecting attention away from themselves. These givers have absolute faith that by being tuned in to others, success will one day come to them. Individuals who live by this mindset aren’t in a hurry to get the deal. Instead, their priority is to build relationships and give value. The givers trust that they will be rewarded with abundance because that’s the way the universe works.

The proof of this is most evident in sales. When people in sales stop chasing money and shift their attention to genuinely helping a prospect, they won’t have to sell anything. Prospects will want to buy from them based on the generosity of the relationship. 

Say what?

Our attention is a hot commodity.

The concept of silent listening is the genesis of holistic business. Silent listening requires us to mentally slow down and quiet the unrelenting soundtrack that plays in our heads 24/7. Silent listening requires our undivided attention, free of distractions, judgments, and response planning. It calls for us to be fully present and in the moment.

How many times have you asked someone a question that you were genuinely interested in and as soon as they responded, your mind was jumping around aimlessly with random thoughts?

These mental interruptions occur in a flash. They pull us away from conversations and leave us at a disadvantage as we miss important information that is essential to connecting with people.

For example, you are meeting with a prospect about doing PR for their credit union. Someone mentions that they have ‘service centers,’ not branches. If you write up a proposal to promote their 18 branches, you lose. A split second distraction becomes a costly lesson. 

Silent listening is an essential business skill. It shows people that you are fully engaged, and care about the message.

Welcome to sales. 

PS: I invite you to take a peek at my new Kindle book, published today!

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The fine line between news and humanity

“I didn’t read the paper today, but I saw the Post.”

That’s been a long-running joke in New York and New Jersey about the quality of The New York Post. I’ve been reading the paper since the early 1970s, before it tanked.

Call it crap, fodder, entertainment, a joke. But people still buy the rag sheet and it gets published every day.   

Another Day at Work

So what’s an editor to do when a freelance photographer comes back to the newsroom after snapping a picture of a man who was pushed onto subway tracks by a stranger? As the victim tries frantically to climb off the tracks, the train is barreling towards him.

Click. Click. Click. 

The photographer, R. Umar Abbasi, has to decide in a split second: Try and help this desperate human being or do my job. 

His choice made the front page of the paper on December 4th. (Photo via). And the decisions of both Abbasi and his editor have been blasted by many.  

Front Page News

How could another human being watch this horrific chain of events unfold and not try and help?

The man on the tracks who was killed, 58-year-old Ki-Suck Han, was someone’s father, husband, and co-worker.

Was his life worth something more than a cover story? Who are we to judge? 

Opinions from trained photojournalists, editors, and media consultants have been mixed. 

Verena Dobnik, a reporter for the Associated Press writes:   

“The moral issue among professional photojournalists in such situations is ‘to document or to assist,’ said Kenny Irby, an expert in  the  ethics of visual journalism at the Poynter Institute, a Florida-based nonprofit journalism school.

He said that’s the choice professional photographers often face in the seconds before a fatality.”

 Dobnik’s story continues:

“Another professional reluctant to reach conclusions was veteran photographer John Long of the National Press Photographers Association, where he is chairman of the ethics committee.

“I cannot judge the man,” he said. “I don’t know how far away he was; I don’t know if he could’ve done anything.”

However, both Long and Irby said that as a photographer, ‘you are morally obliged to help’ — if possible, rather than take a picture.”

The People’s Court

Social media has been buzzing with comments and opinions from the public.

On Facebook, Scott Freeman of Newtown, PA, posted:  ”I hope the editor of the NY Post burns in hell. Publishing a front page picture of a man left to die to sell papers is classless, cruel, and inhumane. What happened to humanity?”

For the record, there’s been no comment from the editors at the Post. 

Did the rag sheet go too far this time?  

(From my personal archives)